A Sincere Apology

I’m sorry,

did you expect me to cry?

When you saw my scars and hid your surprise

did you want me to break and spill my soul

to a stranger with a doctorate and a receding hairline?

Not a chance.

Was I supposed to be comforted

by your cliché phrases

(voice dripping with condescension)

“it’s just a phase”

“it didn’t help, did it?”

Maybe not, but it did more than you ever could.

And just because

you’ve “seen this many times before”

doesn’t mean you know me one bit.

 

Leave the past where it lies

Don’t handle me like delicate china, asking

“Is everything okay?” with your back to me and your eyes and mind elsewhere

Come at me like an angry bull

because I swear to you,

I am new

and I will not break.

 

I’m sorry,

but the false concern in your eyes

disgusts me, and when you reached out your hand

and asked for a deal:

“call me if you need to talk, before you do anything, alright?”

I wanted to laugh in your face;

you are no help, and never will be.

And I’ll admit, and even apologize

because I’ve never told so blatantly false a lie

as when I took your hand and smiled,

“yes.”

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One response to “A Sincere Apology

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